Who is Hikigaya Hachiman?
by Arbitrary Escape
Summary: It wasn't anything serious - it was just a game. We didn't run in the same circles in the beginning - we met by chance - but our parents accepted, and so we walked.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**: It wasn't anything serious - it was just a game. We didn't run in the same circles in the beginning - we met by chance - but our parents accepted, and so we walked.

**Characters**: Hikigaya Hachiman, Hayama Hayato, Hikigaya Komachi, Orimoto Kaori

**Rating:** T

**Tags:** slice of life, drama, sibling relationships, friendships, maturing, school life/student life

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own "やはり俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている," commonly referred to as "Oregairu" - characters are property of Watari Wataru and ponkan8. I don't own the character that plays a cameo from _Fruits Basket_ either - Takaya Natsuki does.

* * *

Hikigaya Hachiman wore his glasses religiously. There was, after all, a defect with his eyes. He hated to obscure his vision; he wouldn't allow it. But he could obscure others' vision of him. (So he did.)

It was a practice that seemed constant, like humans who looked at the sun as everlasting (even if it would eventually burn out). It was as consistent as an archer's arrows hitting true.

Which was why I decided that Hikigaya Hachiman warranted a change.

It was a fallacy of youth. This change, I mean. Something done without much regard or thought. Something that was of consequence, if consequence, in context, was anything noteworthy regarding normal teenage tunnel vision (I sincerely doubted that my decision to change my aesthetics had lasting repercussions).

Nonetheless, I pursued my desires and stepped forward, a rush of hormones, excitement, and curiosity released as I mumbled a tired "Hah."

Starting today, I was going to be a middle school student. It was no longer a time of indulging in guilty pleasures of Saturday anime, or for skiving homework (though I had always been forced to do it in the end). At least I had my beloved literature to keep me company.

After ensuring that my tie looked like it wasn't run over, I stepped downstairs and walked into the arms of an empty household. There were no parents to dote on me (not that they would have), and no sister to greet. _Oh well_. _To the new world_, _then_.

The fifteen minutes it took to reach Makuhari were filled with my beloved Chiba: people walking around pretending like I didn't exist if they bumped into me, cars that made both an unpleasant sound and smell, and the sounds of laughter that didn't dare lessen their distance from me.

Hm. Too many students bundled up at the front of the school; bulletin boards shouldn't have been crowded spaces! Be still, my nerves. Fortunately, I had received a letter about attending a special class (no waiting for me!): 1-A, for the twenty students with the best marks. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

Huh. Not so bad. Eleven of us here. Twelve, I corrected (as somewhat of a loner, I tended to exclude myself, but I made an exception in this case). Now all I had to do was not mess this up.

"Uh… Hi." Aaaand, there went all hope of a confident middle school start. I coughed. "I'm Hikigaya Hachiman. Nice to meet you all." Ah. Only four of them seemed to even notice me. I guess I hadn't changed that much.

"Hello there!" The greeting from behind me made me tense; goodness gracious, I almost jumped. Or yelped. Instead, I managed to turn around and… oh. Oh. It was a cute girl with straight dark hair (though the coloring of the Japanese people was a naturally, mostly, homogenous dark brown so I shouldn't have expected anything different). "Nice to meet you, Hikigaya-kun. I'm Orimoto Kaori."

I blinked. Was this for real? A girl talked to me and didn't stare from a distance? Interesting (she must have been crazy). Time to turn on the patented smile for max effect: "Good to know, Orimoto-san. Hope we get along." Getting along with all my classmates was going to be a disaster (i.e. it would never happen), but I had been nursing a small hope that I could find at least one friend.

And that none of my class would never come to blows. Not physically, at least. But emotionally speaking (though, if anyone knew of my skills, they would have known that my defense mechanisms were unparalleled beneath the heavens, for emotional distance and a mental wall of China granted me immunity from typical social connections) it was going to be terrifying if people fought (Makuhari's special class stayed together for all three years, except for one condition: the bottom five of the class were rotated out every year for the top five of the non-special class members).

Orimoto-san blinked. I thought I was going to start sweating under her half a minute scrutiny. Then she burst out laughing and slapped my back. "Hilarious, Hikigaya-kun! I think we're going to get along wonderfully."

I twitched, confused. This girl made no sense. What did I say that was so funny? Was I wrong; sweating already? Don't panic, I reminded myself. You're not twelve anymore (thirteen was a big step up!). "So then, where do you want to sit - the back of the room?"

"Sure."

We sat, just the two of us, and we exchanged the basic courtesy of discussing our expectations for our Makuhari experience. I.e.: very little.

Not long after, the bell rang and the rest of our class poured in. Sensei looked like a man in his early thirties. Unless he aged extremely well (I wished that I could do that, but my genetics spelled trouble in that regard). His gaze was stern as he announced, "In half an hour, we're going to line up and have the welcoming ceremony. In the meantime, I'll introduce myself. My name is Souma Kyou. I'll be teaching you mathematics and sciences - and yes, I'm qualified to do both, you'll find. Oh, and homeroom. As long as you guys aren't a pain, I won't be one to you. Any questions? Ah, yeah, you, with the notebook."

"How often are our rankings going to be posted on the wall?" His voice was nervous, but it betrayed an underlying confidence (How obvious; this guy just wanted us to feel the pressure of dropping down to a 'regular student.' What a jerk!).

"Hm. I dunno." Souma-sensei was scratching his chin. "Kinda changes depending on the year; sometimes we give too many projects and too few exams and the grading time doesn't overlap well. I'll talk to the rest of your teachers and have an answer for you by the end of the week."

I bit back a laugh. Sensei wasn't an idiot, then. What a simple, but effective, diffusion tactic. I made sure to keep a ghost of my smile on my face as I asked, "So, do we get warnings or what? What if you take too long and we're not sure where we stand - let's say student A is barely passing, but you've been in the middle of grading an assignment for student A which would put him or her in the red?"

Everyone else's face went white, except for Orimoto (she giggled so softly I almost missed it). Huh. That confident, eh? Nice to know that my new acquaintance wasn't an idiot.

Sensei didn't seem to find my jab too funny, but he took it in stride as he shrugged again. "Well, yeah we're going to tell you. You're our kids. Even if you miss some marks, you guys have to realize that life isn't about perfection. You're going to stumble. Heck, I almost failed a class or two in university, and at that point you're on your own."

He raised a brow as he addressed the class, "You guys might be in the special class now, but seriously, that's not the be-all-end-all. Anyway, let's get onto important things, like you guys introducing yourselves. We've got a good ten minutes before we have to go."

Honestly speaking, too many of my classmates were dull (no, it wasn't because I chose to embrace my position as an outlier! I promise). In the end, the only person I remembered was Orimoto-san.

"So, are you thinking of joining any clubs, Orimoto-san?"

"Hm? Well, I've been interested in managing the football club or the basketball team. But if neither of those are good, I guess I'd like to take up something like the astronomy club. What about you?"

"I'm a firm believer in being a part of the go-home club, but I was informed that I needed to take part in at least one activity," my exasperation couldn't have presented itself any stronger, "and recommended that I take part in two. I'm avoiding authoritative positions like student government, but I've considered joining the tennis team. I'm not bad at singles, but doubles is overrated and too much work. Might give the track and field team a spin. Astronomy sounds interesting though, so I'll check that out, I guess?"

"Oh? The sports you like tend to put you in a one-on-one position; do you dislike people that much?"

"N-no. I'm just…" I paused, trying to figure out how to say it without sounding like a loser. I couldn't. "I'm just bad with people," I finished lamely, scratching the back of my head as I flushed.

"But you've been so friendly with me even though we just met," she pouted. Orimoto-san finished with a wink, "Am I special to you already? Are you playing with my heart?"

Gah. What a power play; I should have expected this level of skill at the very minimum. Oh wait. I did. This girl was much too cute to be playing around with someone like _me_. Shyly, I let out, "Playing with your heart would mean that I've had it in my hands this whole time. So unless you're willing to admit that, then no; I'm not."

Both of us pinked, but we laughed. Maybe junior high wasn't going to be so bad after all?

The auditorium was full of murmurs as we filed in. The principal gave a speech about the school's ethics and standards and how proud they were to host us (more like how happy they were to take our money). What a joke. But hey, even if equivalent exchange wasn't going to happen, maybe our returns weren't terribly out of favor.

I zoned out until she announced that the student with the highest exam scores was going to give the freshmen address. I actually almost missed it; my head was starting to sink before a loud call prevented it. I wasn't sure if I heard correctly, but lo and behold, who could it have been.

The girl by my side hummed a jaunty tune as she stepped up onto the stage, waving at everyone as she did so. She made a cheery face and adjusted the mic. "Hello~ My name is Orimoto Kaori, and I'm your freshmen rep. Well, so much as the rep means being the one who scored the highest on the exams." She gave a laugh but no room for people to do anything aside from blink at her introduction.

Orimoto-san coughed into a hand as she took a deep breath and began. "Now, given that I scored the top, I'm guessing you all think I'm a nerd. Well, you're right. I like a lot of things to do with school. But I also like a lot of things outside of school stuff. I can't really help the things I like, and I don't want to be someone I'm not. So let's all remember that school isn't life and just be who we want to be. Anyway, I'll probably see a lot of you here and there. Remember to enjoy yourselves and just do what you like! Thanks."

The staff looked rightly flummoxed as the girl hopped off the stage, still humming. On the other hand, I couldn't help but burst out laughing with glee (my full smile was tantamount to a standing ovation and raucous applause, of that you can be assured).

Orimoto Kaori made being Hikigaya Hachiman much more interesting.

* * *

**Notes:**

Souma Kyou is an easter egg - I just wanted to celebrate the return of _Fruits Basket _to the screen, and Kyou was one of my favorite characters (I've always had a bias for Ayame, Shigure, and Hattori above him though; sadly, none of them seemed to fit, so I settled for Kyou).

At this point, we can assume Hikigaya Hachiman has suffered a lot of neglect, socially speaking, but hasn't embraced his role as a complete cynic. Keep in mind he's not as smart as he likes to think - he's thirteen - but he does feel like he's as smart as he thinks. Part of this character's personality is to reflect the fallacy of youth; after all, youth is but a lie.


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own "やはり俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている," commonly referred to as "Oregairu" - characters are property of Watari Wataru and ponkan8.

* * *

"I'm home."

The echo was discomforting, but not something I wasn't used to. In fact, it was, at this point, undoubtedly the most natural reaction to the utter silence of my lone arrival to an empty house. But I was a good child; studious at the very least. I took out my books and began to do my homework. I wished I had someone to work with, but everyone in the special class seemed to, ironically, be rather isolated.

Ah, at least I had my phone - the ever-faithful music player. My beloved Chopin and Bach! The Beatles! And of course, my guilty secrets, the memories of a childhood unfulfilled: Asian Kung-Fu Generation and UVERWORLD. These companions helped me journey through mathematics and sciences, as literature was something I enjoyed on my own. Especially the censored bits.

I just finished my work when the click of the door made me lift my head. "Welcome back."

Komachi stared at me quietly like I was some sort of bug (ouch!) and went to her room as she dropped off her belongings. Was I just a nonexistence after all? Komachi had no words for her elder brother? My fears were allayed when she came back and sat across from me.

"How are you?" She asked softly, her eyes not meeting mine (it was an improvement in comparison to the recent development). Her voice seemed to trickle away like raindrops.

I froze, unsure of how to comfort her. She had been so excited for me when I headed off into the April of my new life. Komachi smiled and smiled and smiled. Laughed. Gave me the push and support I needed. So it was my turn to do the same, even if this was unknown territory.

It had been a little over two weeks since I started junior high and there wasn't much time for us to catch up. As an older brother, I needed to say something. "Ah. Classes are going well. I've looked into sports for a bit, but I don't think I'm a good fit for any of those teams. I'll be joining the astronomy club at least."

She nodded as she got up and sat next to me (sadly, there was still a great distance between our chairs).

"Did you make any friends yet?" Komachi had always been a caring girl, even when she wasn't trying to be. She was lost in the word of two dimensional images sliding across our family's tablet (My heart hurt. Why wasn't she looking at me?).

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Komachi." My whisper made _me_ wince. "I… I wish I could be someone like that. Good at gathering friends. I'm trying. Really. Lord knows this brain of mine can understand things, but executing social skills is kind of hard for your big brother."

Her face reddened. I continued, "I think I'm getting to know one person in my class at least. She's not so bad. Not like the others. I think."

The redness vanished except for the lightest of touches as Komachi's eyes widened in excitement. Whoa. Talk about one-eighty. "Is this for real? You got a girl to talk to you? Kyaa, you're growing up so quickly. Soon you won't need the one and only adorable Komachi anymore!"

"Don't say that." Whatever else she was going to say, I wasn't having any of it. No way. I refrained from snapping but my tone brooked no argument. "You're irreplaceable - don't even joke about it."

"...Sorry."

There were just some lines that were not meant to be crossed. And I promised myself that Komachi would never be forgotten, no matter what the cost. She was precious in all manners and she deserved the world. But she was only a child and needed someone to look out for her. Even if that someone was the unreliable me.

I took a deep breath and counted. My fingers shook, but as I looked at her, I drank her in. Steadily, my fingers combed through her hair. Komachi flinched from the contact. "Look, I know that… that there's been some changes. But I just want you to know that I'm going to take care of you. I know I'm not perfect, but I'll always try to be the big brother you need. Now, let's get started on dinner."

"Okay."

While Komachi and I split the work, I made sure to give her the dicing and cutting that posed no danger. Knife-work was dangerous, and honestly, the thought of her hurt scared me too much (playing mother hen wasn't so bad if the child was Komachi). "You can add the spices and carrots now."

She wrinkled her nose. "Ew, carrots."

"Heh. You've got to eat your vegetables if you want to grow, you know?"

"Fiiiine."

"That's my girl." (My adorable little sister flushed brilliantly.)

Dinner tasted as it usually did: sloppy, unrefined, but delicious. Because the two of us sat down, smiled, and talked.

Komachi walked around the elephant I had left behind and poked her head out with mirth. "Sooo, what's up with that girl? Don't think I forgot!"

I paused, my spoon halfway to my mouth. Komachi was genuinely concerned. Heh. How cute. I ruffled her hair, which generated another adorable Komachi-patented, cutest-in-the-world-action: her pout. "Hm… well, how should I say this. She doesn't look anything special - I mean, she's not like a super standout, but," I scratched a cheek, "she's cute. Ah. Not as cute as you! Definitely not as cute."

The two of us shared a laugh at that. "She's funny - she's also really smart. Er. At least when it comes to books. When it comes to people, I guess she's a lot better than me but I don't know if that means much. She was the one who gave the opening speech among freshmen and she's the one who suggested I try out the astronomy club."

There were stars in the youngest Hikigaya's eyes as she asked, "Uwaa… you said she wasn't your girlfriend, but she's probably also with you in the astronomy club, right? And, if she's as smart as you're saying, then you're definitely fine with her - more than you're telling me. After all," she grinned, "you haven't told me her name yet~"

Indeed, Hikigaya Komachi's intuition was not wrong, but wasn't she too young for this sort of high level guessing? At least I didn't have to worry that my sister was an idiot (though her obsession with my social interactions suggested otherwise; but even if she was an idiot, her loyal older sibling would have taken care of her until the end of days - such was the duty of an elder sibling).

"Hm. That's because I don't want you stalking her on social media."

"Ah."

"Exactly."

"But that's no fair, you _baka_!"

"What's not fair is me doing all the talking today."

Komachi took the hint. She reciprocated by regaling me with a tale of her recess sandpit adventures with stories of her class bunny being carried about. Her art project was to construct a collage of all the things she loved. She quieted after explaining that many of her classmates included pictures from their home. I flinched. There was nothing good in that direction.

I opened my mouth to apologize, but she hushed me. We both knew my apologies meant nothing; after all, the fault was not mine alone. Nor was it hers. She darted up the stairs before I could protest further. "Goodnight, _Onii-san_."

I slammed my fist against my thigh. No matter what I did, it wasn't enough. No, I told myself. _Calm down_. There was little use in being angry at things outside of my control, but humans were complex creatures, even regarding the simplest of manners. I huffed out my frustration and made sure the door was locked before I stalked upstairs.

In the confines of my room, I stood and stared at the mirror. My eyes felt deader than my heart. My heart looser than the skin that seemed to always melt and changed shape whenever I needed to make a face. _What more did I need to do_?

It hurt. But I understood (It didn't require much thinking). The answer was obvious but the road unclear, I mused as I traced myself against the glass, disregarding the smudge that formed my outline.

I wasn't enough because I still hadn't embraced the role of Hikigaya Hachiman.

Hayama Hayato stared at me from his glass frame, his smile equally as cracked, his gaze as torn as it had ever been with his distant eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own "やはり俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている," commonly referred to as "Oregairu" - characters are property of Watari Wataru and ponkan8.

* * *

I was an idiot. No, really. In spite of what the education system told people, I was a Grade-A idiot. One hundred percent confirmed. Source: me (and pretty much everyone else that ever had the misfortune of encountering me).

Why, though? Well, that's another thing entirely. Sort of. I mean, you might as well have asked how the universe came into existence the way it did in spite of the theoretically impossible chance it had (the Big Bang theory leaves me puzzles; for what formed from nothing? What was the first source of light? How was anything _possible_?).

The question had far too many answers and I perused them at my leisure as I sat on a park bench, waiting for an acquaintance of mine. Minutes were more important than gold, and it irritated me that he was not here yet, but at the same time, I understood perfectly how annoying his life was and why he was late.

Nonetheless, I hated the feeling of loneliness that I had come to live with.

Ah. There he was.

"Sorry." My partner for the rendezvous greeted me with a light wave as he plopped himself next to me, his breath heavy with what sounded like an innate desire to stab something. His clothes heavily contrasted his obvious panic. They were perfectly cared for and spoke of quality; the watch on his wrist screamed wealth, and yet, he was in such disarray.

"How's it been?" Some people would have called me cruel for asking. They were right.

"Like you have to ask. I can't believe we actually got away with this plan, and there is nothing that I do not regret about it. Aside from all the absolute _nonsense_ I have to put up with now, I can't even come home to see the most adorable little sister in the world."

"You shouldn't have asked if I wanted to be Hikigaya Hachiman, then."

"...You looked like you needed help, idiot."

"Aren't you the idiot for offering and following through, then," I teased.

"Yeah. Doesn't make you any less of one," he snarled back, amusement littering the lines about his face. He looked like he had aged considerably. Not surprisingly, given that my parents weren't fools who tolerated failure and he decided to stand in for mine.

That they hadn't messaged me was high praise in of itself. What was the difference between me and him? How did it happen?

He interrupted my thoughts with a question, "How's Komachi?" In spite of his standoffish nature, he was probably the world's number one brocon.

I frowned at that. "Not sure. It's hard to tell." His expression was incredulous. "Hey, don't give me that. I've only had like four months to live with her and I've known her for less than a year!"

"But as her big brother, you have to know everything about her."

"...I'm not even going to pretend to bother how that's possible or why that's your standard. Or point out that that just sounds all kinds of creepy and wrong and nope, nope, nope."

My acquaintance scoffed lightly. I sighed a breath of relief - I honestly thought he was going to murder me - and leaned into the wood that propped us up. While he was joking, the undertones of me not playing my part weren't wrong. Hurtful, I guess. But not wrong. I wasn't ashamed to admit I was faulty, even after I stopped playing the part of Hayama Hayato.

(Maybe I wasn't cut out to play any parts.)

He brushed a hand through his hair and his eyes turned towards the children playing in the park. He was distant as he spoke. "I just hope you enjoy living with Komachi. Having a little sister doesn't cure disease, but it does show you the wonders of life." _You are wanted_; _you are someone _\- _you are you_, _and that matters_. _Just try._

I swallowed. It was hard for me to accept that someone was willing to put up with so much just for me. Stranger as I remembered that we weren't even friends. Speaking of such...

"I do. By the way," I wasn't sure how to go about this, "what about relationships?"

(_Do not think about Orimoto, do not think about Orimoto_… Dang it.)

He blinked. "Hah?"

Nervously, I laughed an explanation into existence. "Well, um, you see, what about any friends we make?"

"... are you serious. You've spent maybe a few months as me and you've already cheated the invincible _Forever Alone_ ability? What are you, some kind of superhuman? No, you're probably just a _Super Riajuu_ And, I cannot believe I never asked this, but are you into girls, guys, both, or neither - because I totally can see why you'd have rejected a girl that cute-"

I slapped him on the back of the head. "First off, I'm not even one hundred percent sure what my preferences are, even if I've been and am attracted to some people. We're like twelve for crying out loud; if anything's cute, I might like it. Second, you shouldn't even be thinking about that."

His head tilted sideways and it would have been adorable if this guy wasn't such a jerk ten-out-of-ten times. "And why ever not? I believe I have every right to be familiar with the intricacies of Hikigaya Hachiman."

There wasn't enough aspirin in the world for people like him. Ugh. I massaged my forehead. "How did Komachi ever put up with you."

"Easy," he said confidently, "because we put up with each other." _It_'_s not about the effort, it_'_s about just finding what works _\- _relationships are a two way street_, _so even if you put in work_, _both of you have to work together_. _Chemistry is a joint effort_. _Life is about choices _\- _so what are yours_?

I blinked. Who knew a kid my age could speak so much without so many words, and in such a way that made me feel inadequate? (My mind tried not to jump to a long, black haired girl whose crying face I would never forget.)

He didn't answer my question initial question, but he pointed out that I was free to do what I felt like, so long as I didn't endanger anyone. Relationships were a tenuous affair, but what were they? What was the point of my pursuits?

The boy sitting next to me swept me off my feet. Again. He led me to ask him something that he knew he could use. His simple, direct answers were, more often than not, bluntly correct and genuine. It wasn't like I didn't understand the concept. It wasn't that I had forgotten what a relationship was.

But I had forgotten the meaning behind relationships and the nature of my own with Komachi (And she was meant to be, _was_, family). It wasn't something I could just _do_, it was something that the two of us needed to explore why we're more than strangers. So by my inability to answer _his_ previous question, he had followed up by prodding again: how could I look for a new relationship when my own with Komachi was barely established?

If I chose to make friends with Orimoto, he wouldn't have been against it so long as I understood what Hikigaya Hachiman represented. Stepping outside of my comfort zone was leaving a box for a bigger one but I wasn't allowed to abandon the responsibilities of the previous cage.

My lack of clarity made me ashamed. (Or was it just jealousy?)

How was it that this self-proclaimed loner knew how to fix situations and manipulate people without having targets to practice on until now?

"Haah… you make it sound so easy. Are you sure you're just a loner?"

He snorted. "Good one. Of course I'm not. Hayama Hayato would love to be a loner, as far as I can tell, but can't. Though I'm not sure Hayama Hayato has any true comforts or companions. As for Hikigaya Hachiman, he has no obligations to anything. Do as you please, but be considerate - that's all I ask."

The two of us passed time quietly - neither of us were fit for small talk, though I was much better at it than him - and I wondered if this was what brotherhood felt like (because Hikigaya Hachiman could never have been friends with Hayama Hayato).

As we stood to part, he reminded me: "We don't live forever, so make the most of what you have."


	4. Interlude

Summary: How Hikigaya Hachiman and Hayama Hayato met, and the proposal that began it all.

Alternatively - when Hayama Hayato first met Hikigaya Hachiman, the former knew the latter was trouble when he opened his mouth, and the latter knew some idiots were mishandling their puppet.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: **Characters are property of Watari Wataru and ponkan8

* * *

**INTERLUDE**

The sun was shining, the clouds were sprawling about, the blue hues of the sky were bursting with humidity… and I was stuck inside a classroom for my summer vacation. I really didn't want to be here. And if my eyes were working, neither did this other boy. The decision was instantaneous.

"Can I help you?" His voice was nothing but a low drawl, the sarcasm thick and mocking - something I wouldn't have expected from another twelve-year-old. At least, not one I had never spoken to.

I smiled. "Yeah. For one, nice Severus Snape impression. Two, you look like you're not too bothersome to deal with."

"I know not the thing you speak of; there is no impression to be made. And I'd disagree with you there; every conversation is bothersome." The boy's head was stuck between his arms as seemed to decide that I was annoying. Excellent; he liked people even less than me.

"Then why are you responding?"

"Because you're not someone who stops until they've gotten what they wanted. And because even though it's bothersome, I'm not rude."

"You make very interesting assumptions."

"Yeah, well, unlike most other people, mine are correct."

The confidence in his voice stilled me. I met only one person in my life with that absolute belief, and she was the scariest person I had ever seen. This guy was incredibly confident but he wasn't condescending at least (small comfort).

"By the way, I'm Hayama Hayato."

"Hikigaya Hachiman."

"You got anything you're interested in?"

"My little sister."

I stared at him incredulously. What. We were _twelve_, for crying out loud. My eyes widened as I coughed out an "Er… Uh. That's…"

He slapped me faster than I blinked. "Not like that," he snarled, his expression vicious. It was such a light blow that no one else overheard - he was lucky there wasn't an adult here yet and no one else cared about two kids in the far back corner -but he made it clear that this was dangerous territory to be poking at.

Hikigaya-san composed himself quietly but did not apologize. "She's two years younger than me. But the problem is that our _parents_ don't understand that leaving a little girl at home, alone, is not suitable. What if she decides that she's had enough and wanted to go out for the day, forgetting the key or something? She can't be wandering around the streets without a phone or anyone to contact.

"She can't make her meals on her own. Sure, she can cut some things here and there but the stove's a little tall for her and what if she burns herself. And… and…" His voice huffed as his thoughts trailed off.

I didn't believe this. It was one thing to take care of your siblings, particularly younger ones, but this seemed a bit… off. What insane levels of brocon had I just discovered? "You… take care of your sister often, then?"

The dark-haired boy scoffed. "Obviously."

Something in my gut spelled it out for me that even though this Hikigaya was close to his sister, his parents were an entirely different story. He carried himself with a hint of confidence and the way his eyes peered at the world screamed indifference. He was interesting. That same something that hit my gut about his home-life told me that he hardly talked about his home life.

A closer look told me that it was true - the smallest of tensions passed through his expression as he regained a calm face.

I had to know more. "Well, how would you like to be friends?"

My smile, I knew, didn't fool him one bit. He didn't even deign to look at me as he flat-out rejected my offer with a "Get over yourself. I don't need friends, and you don't need any like me."

Sharp. 'Any.' He had already picked up that I was collecting and declined to fit a prescribed or pre-defined, or just defined, role.

Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't need many. Or anyone else but him.

"And that's where I would disagree. You're smart, and you know it; you think I'm an idiot - and to you, I might be. But even fools need friends to point out their foolishness, don't you agree?"

"Ignorance is bliss."

"But life's about discovery!"

"Get over yourself; I don't need to be found - I know who I am. Do you know who you are?" His laugh was taunting and hollow. I'd only heard it from adults before. And the lips of a budding young woman whose beauty entranced me but whose claws tore me in two.

I couldn't hide the wince and staggered, exaggeratedly grasping my stomach. "Et tu, Brute?"

"Calling yourself Caesar is bold when you've so many strings at your back." Huh. He surprised me; he knew how to say Caesar - most children didn't even know how to pronounce the name the incorrect way. I had to test him some more.

"I can tell you're just trying to push me away, and while I admit your words have much more bite than bark, you haven't dissuaded me from taking you on as Antony instead of Brutus."

"...Antony, huh? Fitting, I suppose." Further proof that he was well-read. I wanted him. He looked at me again and sighed. "I guess putting up with you wouldn't be so bad after all. You're probably better than the rest of these clowns, and at least you know what a book is. And how to actually read one."

* * *

"Hayama?"

"Hm?" I stifled a yawn as we lay in the grass and pointed to different clouds.

"What's the point of you being here - you're not talking to any of the other kids; did your parents honestly expect something else?"

"They expect a son who's worth the name Hayama." I didn't have to tell him I was still trying to live up to expectations that people had abandoned for some time.

"Judging from the lack of a sibling, I'm sure they're happy with you."

If I wanted him to stop, this was the time for it. Instead, I caught him in my peripheral and closed my eyes and pretended that I was a cloud. God, why were they allowed to be free?

"They make due," I managed.

We were quiet for most of that afternoon. The sun beat on us, the heat and humidity uncomfortable. But the gentlest of breezes felt like the most loving of touches and each small gale made the summer worth it. (It wasn't as masochistic as this sounded.)

I liked Hachiman a lot.

Almost as much as I didn't. He was someone who was so starkly different from the worldview I had been given and told to accept.

His life wasn't stellar, he wasn't a good person. He had problems, most of them personal and some of them not in his grasp. But he always sought something outside the eye, or something along the lines of marching to his own drum. The beats he heard didn't synchronize with the Chiba I knew. And yet he was as much of a Japanese child such as myself.

In other words, I was envious and the both of us knew it. And it killed me to realize that he didn't care - he accepted who I was; so why couldn't my own family?

I blinked, and the sun seemed so much brighter than before. Lighter, really. It felt good. And my back didn't hurt, either.

Was it sad that laying in the dirt and grass in this blister of rising heat felt better than the comfort of my queen-sized bed covered in some of the most expensive silks and sheets the Hayama family offered?

"Had a nice nap, eh?" Hikigaya was up , arms around one knee as he stared at the sky - I wondered if he saw dreams in the clouds too - and sung slowly.

"Yeah, something like that."

The past three weeks were also a nap, in a way. I was able to get out of the house. I didn't have to wake up in the morning to do this or that; I didn't have to get up in suits after school and dress like I cared from the moment my eyes opened.

My face was the loosest it had ever been, even though I had been smiling all the same.

"What are your plans for the summer after this?" I was curious. He didn't seem like the kind to get out of the house.

"Hm? I'll probably just sit in the library all day. And do whatever my sister needs me to."

"Sounds good." I didn't mean to sound wistful.

I was then blindsided as he asked, "Would you like to be Hikigaya Hachiman?"


End file.
